As any new couple will know when planning a life and moving in together for the first time, ultimately you are still getting to know each other and there are plenty of habits to unearth.
Model Selling Engagement Ring In Hilarious eBay Listing After Finding Out Fiance's Secret
This model has listed her engagement ring on eBay in a hilariously honest post after finding out her fiance’s secret in the most unexpected of ways.
However, it’s one thing to find out your partner makes terrible cups of tea or has to sleep with their teddy on the pillow each night or something, but another thing entirely if you discover they prefer the opposite sex to you…
That’s right, shortly after buying a house with her fiance – and in the throws of a budding romance – not to mention a dog, 27-year-old Laura came to realize the man she was about to marry, actually preferred other men.
And that’s totally fine, she has accepted that, after all, you can’t choose your sexuality and there’s no point in trying to force a relationship when one person’s feelings are channelled in a different direction.
After being faced with a hefty mortgage on a new house – not to mention a pug puppy to feed – the model concluded she needs to sell the engagement ring, in a bid to drum up funds to renovate her home, so she can move out and move on with her life.
In her eBay listing, she noted her ex-partner had been spending quite a lot of time with his friend ‘Brad’…
She wrote: "So, you know when you’re engaged to be married and then suddenly your fiance starts spending a little too much time with his friend, Brad?...
...And you’re like, ‘Hey, it’s okay, Brad’s a great guy.
He’s pretty buff and he’s a laugh and his fashion sense is amazing.’
So then your fiance starts not coming home at night because he and Brad had a ‘wild one’ and he comes back walking a little bit like John Wayne at 4pm the next day and you think ‘Wow! It must have been a wild one since he can’t walk straight anymore.
They must have had a lot of good, clean fun together."
After posting her side-splitting eBay listing Laura shared her story with us and explained how she reached her conclusions.
At first she just thought her ex enjoyed going out a lot and partying with ‘Brad’, but after noticing he’d been at it a little too much, she started putting two and two together.
She said: "He was away from home a lot over the past few years – I just put it down to epic benders with the lads."
The best bit though is the Pandora’s box she opened. While unpacking things for their new home Laura stumbled across a package containing a selection of fancy dress gear, which was definitely not her own…
While rifling through, Laura pulled out ‘a pair of bright pink stilettos in a size 11,’ along with ‘a long blonde wig, a dress in size large and a pair of white stockings’ which wouldn’t look too out of place on an episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Quite the find.
Understandably, the model questioned whether this array of costumes were in fact for a Halloween outfit – although it was March at the time, which made this theory a little less likely.
She told us: "I was quite shocked when I found the fancy dress stuff as I actually couldn’t pull off those stilettos so I’m happy he could."
In her heartbreaking-yet-hilarious listing, Laura divulged how the pair weren’t having as much sex as she would have liked, which must have made things incredibly awkward.
She posted:
"And then your fiance stops wanting to have sex with you despite the fact you have a great rack and an ass that Kim K would insure for £8million by mistaking it for her own and you’re wondering what is wrong with you and why has he shaved his balls tonight if not to spend the night with you?"
Perhaps with all these things going on, you might start doubting yourself and it seems a few things were bubbling away at the back of Laura’s mind. She explained: "I think in my subconscious I always had a slight inkling. His slut drops were always on poi
Absolutely nothing wrong with an excellent ‘slut drop’ or good night on Canal Street, so to be honest, the model can be forgiven for missing some of the so-called ‘signs.’
But now, Laura is left with a ‘rock’ of a ring and Ben and Jerry’s on tap, while she figures out how to deal with the matter in hand.
She shared: "In answer to all these questions, here I am.
..
Single, living with my ex fiance because we’re both too skint to move out with a rock the size of Gibraltar on my finger wondering, ‘How many other men have I turned?’ whilst sharing a tub of ice cream with my dog and screaming ‘WHY’ at the ceiling."
The ring itself – which Laura pointedly suggests was ‘probably picked’ by Brad, ‘as he has great taste’ – now serves as a continuous reminder of how sadly she will never be quite what her ex wants her to be.
She wrote: "It just reminds me of my failure to grow a penis so I’d like to sell it so I can start my life again."
"I still have the receipt and the box, as if subconsciously I knew I’d be in my pyjamas alone in the middle of the afternoon on a Friday writing this tale on eBay."
The ring size itself is proved to be cruelly ironic, as a ‘J,’ a fact the 27-year-old happily remarks on eBay.
She wrote: "J for JOKES I ALMOST MARRIED SOMEONE WHO BLATANTLY LOVES THE D, AND THAT’S OKAY IF THAT’S WHAT HE WANTS TO DO, TO EACH HIS OWN, BUT IT’S NOT WHAT I’M ABOUT AS I’M ONLY 27 AND I’D LOVE TO HAVE SEX AGAIN AT SOME POINT."
There isn’t too much bitterness, Laura even concedes there is always the awkward option she could ‘be bought out by Brad so they can live happily together.’
Laura’s listing actually suggests she is in high spirits, closing: "Oh and I will appreciate all innuendos related to the fact it’s a ring that I’m selling and Brad probably had a go with my ex fiances ring etc etc."
Despite it all, Laura said: "We’re actually the best of friends now – honestly.
We talk about everything and living with him is the best.
When I first confronted him things were difficult but now we are just best friends – we go out together all the time.
In the future I don’t know.
We’re continuing living together and being parents to our puppy until we have enough money to sort the house out properly, but I’ve already had some amazing offers from lads off eBay offering me date."
Perhaps this story can have a happy ending though, after all, both are free to move on to find the right person for them. Laura’s already been asked out via the listing!
Here’s to the future and Laura being able to sell her beloved ring and if nothing else, that eBay listing is probably the most comical one on the internet right now, so at least she has a claim to fame.
